Sluts

I was watching Mtv today and (Oh my gawwwd! You watch Mtv! You are such a lame-o!) there was this show on called Made. The premise is they follow some schmuck around who wants to change their life for what they believe is the better. Think "fatty wants to become a cheerleader". Or "fugly wants to be prom queen". Good show. These poor bastards are often in high school and don't appear to know any better. I can only be thankful Mtv wasn't there to immortalize me fucking up.

Anyway this particular episode was about a high school boy who was particularly obsessed with a girl who didn't really like him. So Mtv followed him around while he tried to impress her, crashing and burning. This guy was pathetic. He tried to talk to her all the time, and thought that if he changed himself (i.e. learned to dance), she would find him more attractive. Also, he helped her with her calculus homework. Basically he's exactly like me (and probably you) in high school. Except I was in remedial math. Beleeeee dat!

This poor fucker was trying so hard. He was a genuinely nice guy who was totally infatuated with this girl. He would do anything for her. His whole world was based around this girl. He was just totally shitfaced.

Halfway through the show, one of the girl's girlfriends corners this poor bastard and tells him that the girl doesn't like him. She likes some other guy. If the bitch is too spineless to dump you directly - it's time to reevaluate the situation.

Now, to compound the problem, the boy that the girl actually liked was your typical preppy fuckup. He was voted 'best dressed' at their school and looked like an ugly, pudgy abercrombie model. You just know this guy is out to get some ass at prom, then dump her like a trashcan baby.

So what happened next? I don't know. I changed the channel.

But isn't this interesting. How many of us have been in this position - many, many times in our lives? I'm talking to the guys here, females - you don't have to read this; go back to cooking dinner and posting lame comebacks on the forums.

So guys, How many times have you been sensitive to some cute girl, listened to her hopes and dreams, helped her with her homework, and generally been a bitch boy, only to find out she's going home with Joe football wifebeater sweaty crack?

Bitches, ehm, females - they want the best of both worlds. They want you (you bitch-ass sensitive crybaby) to hold them while they cry about getting slapped around by their big muscley boyfriends, but they still want to go home and fuck their big muscley boyfriends, and then get slapped around again by said muscley boyfriends.

So what can you do? Sure you don't mind talking to that girl, but you don't really want to TALK to her, do you? I don't. I want to slap her around and pull her hair back and make her do things for me. Girls - they say they want to be empowered, but really, they just want to party. And when I say party, I mean they want to be degraded and have dirty things done to them.

You don't believe me? Join myspace. Click on the browse button and look at all the girls that show up (between the ages 18-25). Now take any two girls at random - only choose one superhot blondie, and one regular looking type. Look at the regular looking girl's profile. Her interests (depending on age/education): books, emo bands, funny movies, blah blah blah boring boring boring. Now go back and look at the hot one's profile. The background is some slutty half-naked chick. Her interests: partying! beer! sex! SEX! Boys! Girls! (because bisexual is today's hot girl's metrosexual) Notice the slutty pictures they put of themselves on the site. These girls don't want empowerment - they want horny boys looking at them. Drooling over them. Jerking off all over them. Also notice, just for shits and giggles, how they spell everything wrong. Maybe its just harder to concentrate when you're always having sex.

I could come up with more examples, but I really don't feel like putting porn links on my page. They get enough of my money as it is. Girls are sluts. What does every young starlet do when she turns 18? She turns into a huge tabloid floozy. Why? Because she's hot and she can. These are the sluts that little girls today have to look up to.

Man what the hell am I getting at? I don't really have a point. I guess I'm just saying that A) Being a girl's bitch-boy doesn't work, and B) Most girls are sluts, or would be if they had the chance. (To be fair, ALL guys are pigs).

I think it's time to stop putting girls on the pedestal. I wouldn't want to be on a pedestal. I'm a human being. I do shitty things. So do all those sluts. Don't idealize this big-breasted entity. Realize that she's probably stupid - because in a general way people are pretty stupid - AND the fact of the matter is, hot chicks have it easier and hence probably rely on brainpower even less than regular people - and just treat that slut like the dirt she is. What do you have to lose? If she's not a slut, you're not getting any anyways. Tell her she's trash. Because deep down inside she likes it. Because that's how daddy talked to her. Oops, that's a whole different topic.

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Perhaps she's thinking: "I just want to be respected for my mind."